I'm torn.

"Boneyard Rendezvous" (BoneyardRendezvous) 03/26/2014 at 19:34 • Filed to: None

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I got pulled over today. In my work truck. My work truck with all the power that '80's Ford trucks were known for. He said it "looked like" I was going fast. I think I would need the salt flats of Bonneville and a tailwind to get to freeway speeds, and I dont have the balls to do that in this janky beat up truck.

Right after he says "How are you doing today?" He says "Oh, looks like you have a cracked windshield, and your exhaust is kinda loud, whats wrong with your seatbelt, does it work? Can I see it operate? What happened to your grill?" Literally that fast.

Yep, the windshield is cracked, its about a foot long on the passenger side, does not impede my vision. It was balls cold this winter, the crack just kinda appeared. I'm not spending $300 on a new one.

Loud exhaust? I'm not missing any of it. I still have the catalytic converter. It might be a bit rusty, and wheezy, but its all there.

The seatbelt has a frayed spot on it where it gets caught in the door every other day. Its just over an inch long, and right on the edge. Of course it fucking works, I dont have a deathwish, I drive something that qualifies for antique plates.

And I hit a pheasant 2 years ago. I'm a nice enough guy I stopped and picked up bits of shattered grill off the highway at 4AM. Why the fuck do you even care about my grill?

I explain, he asks for all the paperwork, which is good. He takes it back to his car and comes back with a fistfull of warnings, including "one taillight is brighter than the other." Its not burned out, just not as bright. Really?

I promised my wife long ago that I will not lose my shit over trivial things. (I once got fired for workplace violence. It sounds worse than it was. I was in a heated discussion with a buddy about how guy #1 is a shitbag and needs his ass beat. Guy #2 hears this, tells guy #1, and guy #1 tells HR I was making threats.)

I'm hoping the cop just had a quota to fill, and I was lucky enough to help him out. I got no fines. Actually, I didnt even get a warning for speeding. Just all the trivial shit. This is what I'm choosing to believe. Hey, I helped a cop. Outside of pointing out my trucks glaring flaws, he was polite and professional. Whole ordeal took 5 minutes.

If he pulls me over in a week and writes tickets for the shit I'm in no hurry to "fix," we will have problems. I have a lot of good karma banked up. One side of my family is lawyers, attorneys, and CPS. I'm sure I would get out of any tickets, and CPS would visit his children at school, and pay his house a visit. Nobody wins.

TL;DR - I helped a cop meet his quota today.

jkm7680 > Boneyard Rendezvous 03/26/2014 at 19:38

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It's nice that you just got a warning. My record is clean, So far. Haha.

Brian Silvestro > Boneyard Rendezvous 03/26/2014 at 19:40

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It's entertaining to read how reacted to a situation in which I would've lost my shit.

Also, it seems that how you got fired from that one job is complete bullshit.

Dusty Ventures > Boneyard Rendezvous 03/26/2014 at 19:41

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About 20-25 years ago my dad got out of a ticket where he was written up for doing something like 80 or 90 in a 55, which he knew he wasn't doing. He went to court, showed the judge photos of the car he was driving at the time (can't remember what it was but it was an underpowered, overweight, worn out American barge with a speedometer that ended around 80), and the judge basically said "if you managed to get that car going that fast you deserve a pat on the back and a handshake." Agreed there was no way the car was going that fast, ticket got either reduced or thrown out (been years since I heard the story).

AM3R > Boneyard Rendezvous 03/26/2014 at 19:44

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I've heard the "one tail light is brighter than the other" BS too. I kindly pointed out that the his squad car had one headlight that was dimmer than the other so he decided to call out the crack on my windshield (4" crack because of a mishap while changing the wiper blades, spiderwebbed because the cold last December). Said he'd give me a "warning" and I said thank you officer, then he wanted to see if I had any open containers of alcohol in the car (back seat was filled with groceries). My friend in the passenger seat unzipped his hoodie to show his Harvard school of Law shirt and the officer kindly went away haha...

jariten1781 > Boneyard Rendezvous 03/26/2014 at 19:45

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I got a warning once for 'weaving within my lane'. Usually when it's crap like this it's just a pretense to take a look in the vehicle and see if you have drugs or weapons so they drag it out by asking lots of questions and poking around. If you just got warnings you're probably good to go.

lone_liberal > Boneyard Rendezvous 03/26/2014 at 19:45

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Since you were driving a beat up old truck he was probably betting on you not having insurance and used the rest of that crap as excuses to pull you over since he can't pull you over just to check your insurance. Typical bullshit.

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > Boneyard Rendezvous 03/26/2014 at 19:47

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You should've replied some cops are brighter than others. They're not really burned, just not as bright.

desertdog5051 > Boneyard Rendezvous 03/26/2014 at 19:50

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Good for you for maintaining composure.

AntiSpeed > AM3R 03/26/2014 at 21:06

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HA! That bit with the Harvard shirt is like the nerdy version of a gangster flashing his gun.

Dusty Ventures > AM3R 03/26/2014 at 21:30

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I should get one of those shirts...

AM3R > AntiSpeed 03/26/2014 at 21:32

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Hahaha! After this I went on Amazon and almost bought myself a Harvard sweatshirt.

Funniest part about this whole event, my buddy didn't even go to Harvard, he's an Engineer. His brother just got accepted to it, which explains the shirt.

AM3R > Dusty Ventures 03/26/2014 at 21:39

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He got me one of these bad boys for my last birthday

AthomSfere > Dusty Ventures 03/26/2014 at 22:01

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I had a 79 Granada with a guilt 5.0... I wrapped the speedo well past the 85 "limit" a few times. In fact, it shot past 85 about as fast it shot past 50. No idea what the power or top end was. Engine came out of a friends stock car (am).